Parents,
Being a parent is a tremendous blessing that I do not take lightly. However, you can probably agree with me that it is not always easy. One of the main reasons for this blog is to provide you with resources to help you as you lead your children at home. Recently I read a short little book called Pastor Dad by Mark Driscoll. While reading this I found myself encouraged and convicted. This is a book I would highly recommend to any father who is serious about being the spiritual leader of his home. Let me take a few minutes to share with you a little bit about what I read.
In chapter one Driscoll says “Before a man can be a good father, he has to be a good Christian. To be a good Christian he must realize that God is his father, as Jesus taught us to pray.” At 4 years old my son will share with me a list of things that he needs. Usually these needs can be found on a shelf in the toy section at Wal-Mart. When this happens I will drop down to one knee right there in Wal-Mart and begin to have conversation with my son about the difference between needs and wants. Often these conversations are met with a blank stare. If my son had a choice between eating his dinner and a toy car, he is choosing the car.
I took some time to really think about what my children needed. Immediately I thought of the big three: food, clothing, and shelter. However, there is one thing that should go before even these three. That one thing is a relationship with God. As a Christian father, it is my passion to see my children worship the same God that I do, and the Bible is clear that youth pastors and church leaders are not the primary means in which my children are to learn about Him. That is my tremendous privilege and responsibility. If that relationship is their greatest need, then it must become my greatest priority. I must pursue God’s heart and allow him to change me so that I can share this relationship with my children.
With my kids and through working with students, I have realized that often things are more caught than taught. They may not remember everything I say but they definitely remember who I am. As fathers we must be showing through word and actions what a relationship with God through Jesus Christ looks like. Therefore, maybe instead of reading your bible in quiet, you read in front of your kids. I know that when I am reading my bible or a Christian book in front of my son he will ask me what I am reading. With that conversation begins. Take the lead and pray with your family. Ask your children how you can pray for them, write these down, and pray for them throughout the day. You will be amazed how your heart grows for them. As you do this God will reveal to you more of His heart for you, and in return you can share that with your children. These are just a couple of ideas.
In Proverbs 3:11-12 we read, “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.” Driscoll says, “Before any father disciplines his children, he is commanded to delight in them. Practically, this means that most of a father’s time is spent enjoying his children, encouraging his children, laughing with his children, being affectionate with his children, and enjoying his children so there is a deep bond of love and joy between the children and their dad.” Later while commenting on this same verse he says, “The principle here is that only those people who lovingly delight in their children have earned the right to discipline them.” Delight must precede discipline. As fathers we must delight in our children and spend hours with them. When we delight in our children it will dramatically affect the way we discipline. Discipline should not end with punishment, but rather should be about correction.
Here are a few questions to consider:
1. What is the greatest relationship of my life, and what am I doing to invest in that relationship?
2. In what areas of my children’s lives can I pray for them?
3. What is the ultimate goal of discipline? How does God discipline me?
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