Growing up I earned the nickname “20 questions” from my grandpa. It was not uncommon for me to bombard individuals with tons of questions at the conclusion of their stories and statements. Many interpreted this as me trying to antagonistically bother people. Though that might have been true at times, it was not the norm. Most of the time I wasn’t trying to be a punk. I was curious. I wanted to know things and to know if the things I believed were really were true. Even to this day I’m a tenacious learner and ask tons of questions trying to figure things out.
Almost every teenager I know can be called “20 questions.” Muller affirms this when he writes that teenagers, “Armed with a new found ability to think, evaluate, and solve problems, teenagers often question the values and beliefs they’d previously accepted.” (Muller, pg. 84). I couldn’t agree more with this statement. When this takes place many parents, especially in my experience Christian parents, seem to panic. Their panic is not irrational. I can understand the panic that takes place when a child questions a value, belief, or ideal that we hold dearly. My hope for my children is that they worship the God of the Bible, and what I need to prepare myself for now is the probability of them questioning their beliefs. Many students are not simply questioning their beliefs just because they want to be rebellious, but rather this is a sign of them owning their faith.
It is in these moments that I found ultimate joy in God’s complete control over all things. We are called to lead, shepherd, and point our children toward Jesus Christ. Yet, I know that there is nothing I can do to force my children into a relationship with Christ. “Salvation is from the Lord ((Jonah 2:9),” not from us. In these moments I would like to remind you, as well as myself, of a profound statement by Muller. He was writing about a tough period in which one of his children was making some poor choices. During that time he discovered “God was working in ways we wouldn’t always see or understand.” (Muller, pg. 87)
Spiritual growth is a process, and as parents we must be patient with students when they question things. Many of us can remember times in which we also questioned some of the same issues our teens are questioning. In those moments share your story, struggle, and pain. Talk about the goodness of God and what he taught you through that time of questioning. I would encourage you to write down their questions and together study the scriptures to find answers. In this you will find God growing you both. There I see “God working” in both of your lives.
Check out this video from Tullian Tchividjian, Billy Graham's grandson. It may be an encouragement to some of you.
